[SD] Blogging

Blogging

Warning: Izaya trolling readers, twins trolling Izaya~

Hello there, my dear readers. I'm sure you're wondering, why is your God, Izaya Orihara, taking time from his busy, busy schedule to address his lovely humans~?

Truthfully, it's something I always think of. A little fantasy, perhaps? After all, I know all there is to know about you! (That is, if you're interesting enough~) So it is only fair I share a bit of myself with the world, ne~?

I'm sure by now I've captured your full attention, dear reader~. "Whaaaat~? The great Izaya Orihara wishes to grace me with such valuable information? Little insignificant me?"

If this was your reaction I'm afraid you're just much too predictable. *sigh* Don't fret, Izaya Orihara will always love all his humans. Even the overly insecure and slightly dense ones.

Unfortunately, today I am speaking neither of the fragility of the human ego nor my own life story (though both are subjects of great intrigue~) Sorry to any hopes I've crushed~! Really though, did you really think you'd learn anything about me so easily~? No, for both the sake of my humans and myself, such details shall remain strictly confidential.

No, today I would like to address some of the… unsightly rumors floating about the internet. Specifically rumors pertaining to myself, and a one Shizuo Hewaijima.

Now, of course the old saying is true, and that there are two sides of every story. Well, to some stories there are thousands of different sides, but to keep things simple I'll stick to two.

Firstly there is your side. I assume you have a 'side', yes? Since you have stumbled upon my blog, then surely you are experienced in the ways of this lovely national information infrastructure, ne~? You have heard the rumors, right?

No~?

Well, go on then. I'll wait here.

Ah, you're back. Well, what of the rumors now?

WHAT?! You still couldn't find anything about me and that monster?! Surely you're joking!

No joke? *sigh* Honestly, you're not even trying are you? Very well~, I shall assist you.

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There. Now that you are thoroughly informed, you see the 'side' I was talking about.

I know what you're probably thinking. I've been presented a great many little 'theories' about our… relationship.

Secret lovers?

Sex friends?

Sex enemies?

Two very confused, very dangerous men who can't tell love from hate?

I've decided to lay it all out in the open. The truth about Shizu-chan and I is

"IZA-NII!"

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" What?"

"Iza-nii, don't yell at your only siblings! We almost never come over, so the least you could do is get off your computer and play with us!"

"Iza-nii… hang…" (Mairu's right, Iza-nii. We never get to hang out.)

"It's not like you're constantly clambering for my attention. You just came over here to annoy me," Izaya grumbled. "Give your brother just a minute and then we'll play, okay?" He turned back to his computer.

The truth is

"Iza-nii."

Growling exasperatedly, Izaya spun in his chair to the little devils. "WHAT-!"

He stared straight into two identical pairs of big, shiny, begging puppy-dog eyes and pouting lips. Sighing heavily, he raised his hands in defeat. "Fine, I surrender! Let me go get my coat and I'll take you out for ice cream or something."

"YAY!"

The informant trudged up his stairs from his office to his bedroom, with two identical girls watching him closely. When they heard the door to his room open and close, they immediately scrambled to his computer.

"Hehe, now let's see what big brother is up to now!"

"…Evil…" (That's absolutely evil Mairu. I love it.)

"I know, right? And we only had to annoy him a little!"

"Hurry…"

"Yeah, I know…" Mairu muttered, scanning the screen quickly. "Ooooh, this is good!"

Quickly typing, Mairu grinned diabolically. "The truth is-!"

The truth is that I, Izaya Orihara, am absolutely, 100%, head over heels in love with Shizuo Hewaijima!

"Perfect!"

"…perfect…"

"And now to post this-"

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO BRATS DOING?"

"Aw crap! Ruuuun!"

"Running…" (I'm running, you don't have to tell me.)